The Second Week of "Pythonalia Honoraria" - the Ministry of Carol Cleveland

 

Welcome to the Second week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria” where we will spend four weeks celebrating the four Honorary Pythons.  This week, week two, we will celebrate Carol Cleveland, who appeared in all four seasons of the tele show and in all of the Python Movies as well. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 63 where the prophets say …

She	Oh, oh, oh Bevis, should we?
Bevis	Oh Dora. Why not?
She	Be gentle with me.
	Cut to film montage. Collapsing factory chimney in reverse motion; pan up tall soaring poplars in the wind; waves crashing; fish in shallow water fountains; exploding fireworks; volcano erupting with lava; rocket taking off, express train going into a tunnel; dam bursting; battleship broadside; lion leaping through flaming hoop; Richard Nixon smiling; milking a cow; planes refuelling in mid-air; Women's Institute applauding; tossing the caber; plane falling in flames; tree crashing to the ground; the lead shot tower collapsing (normal motion). Cut back to the girl in bed.
She	(smoking) Oh Bevis, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
	We see Bevis, with small projector.
Bevis	Just one more, dear.
She	Oh.

 

Open your hymnal to page 9 and join us in singing “The Philosopher Song” verse 2

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 36 page 181 where the prophets say …

Second Assistant	There's a 'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'.
Nid	Yes...
Second Assistant	Or 'Naughty Nora'... or there's this one: 'Doug, Bob and Gordon Visit the Ark Royal'. Or there's 'Sister Teresa - The Spanking Nun'.
Nid	Mmmm... I see ... you don't have anything specially about Devon and Cornwall?
Second Assistant	No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Nid	The one I was really after was Arthur Hotchkiss's 'Devonshire Country Churches'.
Second Assistant	Well how about this, sir: 'Bum Biters'.
Nid	No ... not really ... I don't suppose you have any general surveys of English Church architecture?
Second Assistant	No, it's not really our line, sir.
Nid	No, I see. Well, never mind I'll just take the 'Lord Lieutenant in Nylons' then, and these two copies of 'Piggie Parade'. Thank you.
Second Assistant	Right, sir.

 

Homily  In honor of our “Super Time” I thought this week I would look at some positive news.  I will start with a simple matter.  In this world where entire states run out of power because they suddenly find out that windmills do not work well in the winter.  A very positive sign arose this week as a shut down Nuclear Power plant in the U.S. is beginning the process of being restarted (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/historic-reversal-us-restart-shut-down-nuclear-power-plant-first-time-ever).  In short order the Palisades Nuclear Plant in South West Michigan should be resupplying power to the Mitten state as well as “Chiraq”. 

Next up, a far away mysterious place called “Italy” has made something of a momentous decision.  They have decided to ban “Lab Meat” (https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/fda-approved-controversial-lab-grown-meat-becomes-reality)!  Imagine that, instead of deciding that since they can not currently prove it is dangerous (as was done in the U.S.), if the “makers” can not prove it is “safe” then it is not going on the tables of Italian households. 

Finally, in some great news for everyone, every where, Boiling tap water for just 5 minutes removes 90% of the Microplastics in that water (https://www.zerohedge.com/medical/boiling-hard-tap-water-removes-90-percent-microplastics-study).  So, if you are worried about micro plastics, boil your water for 5 minutes and you have largely solved the problem.  If you are not worried about micro plastics, perhaps you should do some research? 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.