The Seventeenth Week of Ordinary Time

Welcome to the Seventeenth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

After this week I thank you for that energetic rendition as it supercharged me for todays service.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 8 page 96 where the prophets say …

Watkins	I'd like to leave the army please, sir.
Colonel	Good heavens man, why?
Watkins	It's dangerous.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	There are people with guns out there, sir.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	Real guns, sir. Not toy ones, sir. Proper ones, sir. They've all got 'em. All of 'em, sir. And some of 'em have got tanks.
Colonel	Watkins, they are on our side.
Watkins	And grenades, sir. And machine guns, sir. So I'd like to leave, sir, before I get killed, please.
Colonel	Watkins, you've only been in the army a day.
Watkins	I know sir but people get killed, properly dead, sir, no barley cross fingers, sir. A bloke was telling me, if you're in the army and there's a war you have to go and fight.
Colonel	That's true.
Watkins	Well I mean, blimey, I mean if it was a big war somebody could be hurt.
Colonel	Watkins why did you join the army?
Watkins	For the water-skiing and for the travel, sir. And not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir - no killing.
Colonel	Watkins are you a pacifist?
Watkins	No sir, I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward.

 

Open your hymnal to page 23 and join us in singing “Philosopher’s Song” verse 2

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,  And Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,  "I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,  A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 42 page 278 where the prophets say … RAF banter

Bovril	How was it?
Squadron Leader	Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.
Squadron Leader	It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry...pranged his kite right in the how's yer father...hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.
Squadron Leader	Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.

 

Homily  In the unending pursuit of the religion of “Wokeism”, there seems to be no level the cultists will not sink to in order to try and spread their “Beliefs”.  Examples of these pursuits are endless, however one recent example comes from Britain (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12987757/Over-300-schools-including-primaries-secondaries-nurseries-told-stop-calling-pupils-boys-girls-signing-scheme-run-controversial-trans-rights-lobbying-group-Stonewall.html) indicates the propaganda is always advanced.  Regardless of logic and basic science (name another sexually reproduced organism that has something besides male and female) apparently disregarding Biology is now part of British education. 

The positive of evidence against this nonsense does begin to pile up the longer the adherents pursue their insanity. It turns out that now D.E.I. is actually killing people!  In the Massive killer wild Fire that swept though Hawaii last year, it turns out that a Commissioner refused to release water reserves to fight the fire over concerns “equity of access” for minority groups (https://nypost.com/2023/08/19/hawaii-official-worried-about-equity-over-water/). So those who lost loved ones in that conflagration have “Equity” to thank, at least in part, for their deaths. 

As if these deaths were not enough to clue people in to the danger and inherently vile nature of D.E.I., this blight on humanity is also now been associated with part of the general decline in Higher Education.  A recent study showed that 1 in 4 High School grads last year (2023) decided to skip going to college because of the perception of the D.E.I. political climate inherent on campus (https://www.chronicle.com/article/1-in-4-prospective-students-ruled-out-colleges-due-to-their-states-political-climates?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=campaign_6471146_nl_Academe-Today_date_20230327&cid=at&source=&sourceid=&cid2=gen_login_refresh).  So now the ideology at college is driving students away, literally “throwing the baby out with the bath water”!

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.