The Fifth Week of Silly Time

 

Welcome to the Fifth Week of “Silly Time”, The six week period between when the gifts of the prophets were bestowed upon Britain and when the same gifts were poured out upon the colonies.  This is a time of solemn introspection and reflection on our lives and their direction. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition it warmed my heart as I low crawled to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode20 page 271 where the prophets say …

Cyril: In the debate a spokesman accused the Government of being silly and doing not at all good things. The member accepted this in a spirit of healthy criticism, but denied that he'd ever been naughty with a choirboy. Angry shouts of 'what about the watermelon, then?' were ordered by the Speaker to be stricken from the record and put into a brown paper bag in the lavvy. Any further interruptions would be cut off and distributed amongst the poor. For the Government a Front Bench Spokesman said the agricultural tariff would have to be raised, and he fancied a bit. Furthermore, he argued, this would give a large boost to farmers, and a lot of fun to him, his friend and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge. From the back benches there were opposition shouts of 'postcards for sale' and a healthy cry of 'who likes a sailor, then?' from the Minister without Portfolio. Replying, the Shadow Minister said, he could no longer deny the rumors but he and the dachshund were very happy; and, in any case, he argued, rhubarb was cheap and what was the harm in a sauna bath.

7 hours later

The Minister of Technology met with three Russian Leaders today to discuss a 4 million pound airliner deal.  None of them were indigenous to Australia, carried their babies in pouches or ate those yummy eucalyptus leaves.  Yum, yum.  That’s the news for wombats and now Attila the Bun!

Open your hymnal to page 18 and join us in singing “Oliver Cromwell” verse 4

And Cromwell sent Colonel Pride to purge the House of Commons
Of the Presbyterian Royalists leaving behind only the rump Parliament
Which appointed a High Court at Westminster Hall to indict
Charles, the first for tyranny, ooh! Charles was sentenced to death
Even though he refused to accept that the court had jurisdiction
Say goodbye to his head

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 45 page 338 where the prophets say …

Attenborough: (slapping the side of a tree) Well here it is at last ... the goal of our quest. After six months and three days we've caught up with the legendary walking tree of Dahomey, Quercus Nicholas Parsonus, resting here for a moment, on its long journey south. It's almost incredible isn't it, to think that this huge tree has walked over two thousand miles across this inhospitable terrain to stop here, maybe just to take in water before the two thousand miles on to Cape Town, where it lives. It's almost unimaginable, I find - the thought of this mighty tree strolling through Nigeria, perhaps swaggering a little as it crosses the border into Zaire, hopping through the tropical rain forests, trying to find a quiet grove where it could jump around on its own, sprinting up to Zambia for the afternoon, then nipping back ... (a native whispers in his ear) Oh, super ... well, I've just been told that this is not in fact the legendary walking tree of Dahomey, this is one of Africa's many stationary trees, Arborus Barnbet Gaseoignus. In fact we've just missed the walking tree... it left here at eight o'clock this morning... was heading off in that direction... so we'll see if we can go and catch it up. Come on boys.

Homily  As D.E.I. experiences its death throes it is astonishing to watch the supporters twist in the wind trying to keep their dreams alive.  Just in case you needed a review here is another article from a surprising source (a major university) of the mounting problems for the D.E.I. faithful (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/asu-study-vast-dei-bureaucracy-hurting-us-armed-forces).  Once again it turns out that Wokery is not good for military preparedness and national survivability. 

Naturally, if Kumala wins the election this year she is promising to not only continue but expand the Wokery.  Her newest “ideation” being reduce sentences for LGBTQIA+ prisoners for the sake of … equity (https://kamalaharris.org/policies/lgbtq-equality/full-policy/)!  Of course the people that these prisoners: robbed, killed, raped, and maimed will be ignored, but Kumala does not really care about them anyway as her time as a Prosecutor amply demonstrated.

Of course Britain is off the deep end again now that Labour is back in charge, so health workers will now be required to ask men if they are pregnant before giving them x-rays (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/uk-health-workers-ordered-ask-men-if-theyre-pregnant-x-rays-report).  However, only slightly off that level of foolishness is America’s own Neil deGrasse Tyson who has now completely degraded his orbit and rambling about gender being a matter of ‘feeling’ open to daily, or even hourly reinterpretation based upon one’s mood (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/watch-neil-degrasse-tyson-says-chromosomes-dont-determine-biological-sex).  That certainly seems to follow scientific principals MUCH better than pesky things like Chromosomes!  I wonder which system meets the standards of: “quantifiable, measurable and repeatable”.  I guess Neil is not in that “mood” any more. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.