The Eighteenth Week of Extra Ordinary Time
Welcome to the
Eighteenth Week of Extra Ordinary Time.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Parishioners,
as our liturgical calendar draws to a close, let us this week focus on
maintaining our calm and reasoned outlook while those about us have
lost their minds!
Please open
The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 16 page 214 where the prophets say …
|
Milkman |
Pat-a-cake,
pat-a-cake baker's man. Good morning, madam, I'm a psychiatrist. |
|
Lady |
You look
like a milkman to me. |
|
Milkman |
Good. (ticks
form on his clipboard) I am in fact dressed as a
milkman... you spotted that - well done. |
|
Lady |
Go away. |
|
Milkman |
Now then,
madam. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you
see any similarity between them. (holds up a card saying '3' three
times) |
|
Lady |
They're all
number three. |
|
Milkman |
No. Try
again. |
|
Lady |
They're all number
three? |
|
Milkman |
No.
They're all number three. (he ticks his board again) Right.
Now. I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that
comes into your head. How many pints do you want? |
Never be rude
to an Arab
An Israeli, or Saudi, or Jew
Never be rude to an Irishman
No matter what you do
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 24 page 9
where the prophets say …
|
Crackpot |
This is an example of the sort of abuse we get all the
time from ignorant people. I inherited this religion from my father, an
ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in
charge of the first religion with free gifts. You get this luxury tea-trolley
with every new enrollment. (pictures of this and the subsequent
gifts) In addition to this you can win a three-piece lounge suite,
this luxury caravan, a weekend for two with Peter Bonetti and tonights star
prize, the entire Norwich City Council. |
|
Curtains go up to reveal the council. Terrific 'ooh'
from an audience. Bad organ chords played by a nude man. |
|
|
Crackpot |
And remember with only eight scoring draws you can win a
bishopric in a see of your own choice. You see we have a much more modern
approach to religion. |
|
Cut to a person in church. They are walking past a
pillar. They take out some money and put it in a collecting box. A sign on
the box says 'For the rich'. We hear the money going in, then it moves off,
along pipes, falling down; eventually it comes down a small pipe and lands
with a tinkle in Crackpot's ashtray. He tries the money with his teeth, pops
it into his pocket, and finishes reading... |
|
|
Crackpot |
Blessed is Arthur Crackpot and all his subsidiaries Ltd.
You see, in our Church we have a lot more fun. |
Homily Parishioners,
of Late, the Party of Trump Derangement Syndrome, has been stumbling down some
dark paths as they seek for things to “resist” Trump on. The results would be hilarious if not for the
millions of normal people who are stuck in the hell holes these loonies
run. As one simple example take
Kalifornia. Once they figured out that
their precious 15$ minimum wage did not solve the poor’s issues as people can
not make ends meet in Kalifornia on 15$ an hour, they decided to raise the minimum
wage to 20$. And the results of the new
absurd minimum wage are in (https://www.nber.org/papers/w34033).
The state of Kalifornia has lost over 18,000 food service jobs in the
first year of the scheme! Let us see how
long it takes for the next raise?
Elsewhere in the
state of confusion known as Kalifornia the current mayor of Los Angeles has
demonstrated literally where she stands and who she stands with. As ICE agents raided MacArthur Park in Los
Angeles recently, a widely known spot for the Gang Bangers to hang out; the
mayor, Karen Bass, decided to show up and block the agents raid (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/los-angeles-mayor-confronts-federal-immigration-officers-macarthur-park).
Bass literally shielded South American Gang Bangers from Ice arrest, I
wonder how many actual citizens she has ever risked her hide to shield?
In General the
Democan Party nation wide can not seem to decide how they want to proceed. The East Coast types seem intent on selling
the country out to China (https://www.cnbc.com/2024/09/03/hochul-new-york-aide-china-arrested-agent.html). Regardless
of the fact that China is going bankrupt in slow motion. While the general party leaders seem intent
on starting a second civil war ( https://www.axios.com/2025/07/07/democrats-trump-resistance-violence-congress). Since
the last time their ancestors tried that it did not turn out very well for them
I would suggest that they keep try thinking one more time.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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