Week Two of "Silly Time".

 

Welcome to the Second Week of “Silly Time”, The six week period between when the gifts of the prophets were bestowed upon Britain and when the same gifts were poured out upon the colonies.  This is a time of solemn introspection and reflection on our lives and their direction. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition it warmed my heart as I walked to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode13 page 176 where the prophets say …

Doctor   Mr Burtenshaw?

Man   Me, Doctor?

Doctor   No, me doctor, you Mr Burtenshaw. 

Man   My wife, Doctor?

Doctor   No.  Your wife patient, me Doctor.

Sister    Come this way please.

Man   Me, Sister?

Doctor   No. She Sister.  Me Doctor.  You Mr Burtenshaw. 

Nurse Doctor Walters? 

Doctor   Me, Nurse (to Sister)  You Mr Burtenshaw, (to man) She Sister, You Doctor. (to Nurse).

Nurse   No Doctor.

Doctor   No Doctor, Call ambulance.  Keep warm. 

Open your hymnal to page 2 and join us in singing “Spam” verse 1

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!,  Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

Please open the Holy Text volume 2 to episode 28 page 63 where the prophets uttered …

Alan  Well, last week we showed you how to become a gynaecologist, And this week on ‘How to do it’ we’re going to show you how to play the flute, how to split an atom, how to construct a box girder bridge, how to irrigate the Sahara Desert and make vast new areas of land cultivatable, but first, here’s Jackie to tell you how to rid the world of all known diseases.
Jackie   Hello,  Alan.
Alan   Hell, Jackie.
Jackie   Well, first of all become a doctor and discover a marvelous cure for something, and then, when the medical profession really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right so there’ll never be any diseases ever again.
Alan   Thanks, Jackie.  Great idea  ...

Homily Parishioners, I thought this week would be a good time to demonstrate the state of affairs in the Chinese military, in particular the Chinese Navy.  Since they have a stated interest in going to war with the United States by 2027 (15 months from now), they will have to depend on their navy to effectively bring the war to us so I thought it apropos to see where they “stand”.  I thought I would start with another example of how good it is for America to have gotten shed of the pseudoBiden administration.  It seems that back in 2024 the Chinese navy opened fire on a Japanese naval vessel (https://english.kyodonews.net/articles/-/59006#google_vignette).  The Chinese fired multiple shots but managed to miss with all of them.  More importantly Uncle Joe slept through the whole event and did nothing in response, not even a statement! 

In a much more interesting development last year it was discovered that China’s newest nuclear submarine sank, and failed to resurface (https://www.wsj.com/world/china/chinas-newest-nuclear-submarine-sank-setting-back-its-military-modernization-785b4d37?mod=hp_lead_pos2)!  Naturally the Chinese deny that the event happened, but also can not produce the submarine either.  The Wall Street Journal seems to feel that this development sets back the Chinese Navy’s development plans, I would guess so! 

Finally, in a truly stunning video, a Chinese Naval vessel attempts to ram a Philippines Coast Guard Vessel, but the Chinese vessel misses and gets rammed by a smaller Chinese Coast Guard vessel for its efforts (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/chaos-south-china-sea-china-rams-own-warship-while-pursuit-philippine-vessel)!  I wonder if the Chinese would like to comment on the condition of these two vessels from their inventory?  Probably not!  Or maybe they are busy scouring the sea for the missing Chinese Nuclear Submarine?  Perhaps they are all part of some new Chinese island growing scheme using ships in place of dumped concrete as the basis of new islands to claim.  If the last is the case, at least the Chinese will have not problems demonstrating the ownership of the disputed “islands”. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.